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First off last few days have been horrible...just not been able get a grip on my depression it spiralled out of control, sometimes the slightest thing triggers a memory and that starts the ball rolling. I am trying get better at being aware but it does get me still before I can try use methods to help cope and prevent it getting out of hand.
anyway after spending pretty much the whole day shut away from everyone, tried interact a little with others but there were problems going on and just ended up feeling worse, sometimes when you need help people are just not able to give it as they have their own problems to cope with (I understand when I'm down I can be difficult to be around).
anyway was about to shut myself off again but dragged myself out the house using all the tricks (just see how it goes etc) for a run, pace was not fast just needed to do something ended up running 17 miles roughly, I know the routes so know distance approx. as of all days GPS watch chose today to have an error and freeze at 14 miles...really could have done without that! there was an update on the website when got back and checked as turns out they know about an error from last update.
So I still do not feel great but the run has helped give me a break and try break the depression cycle, running does NOT cure all problems but it helps give that breathing space sometimes to let you start being able to cope.
Wishing everyone well
Gareth (TheTryAth)
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